Having so much anxiety
Hi everyone. I’ve just found this sub so this is my first post. I’m 27 and this is my first pregnancy. It took just over a year for me to conceive and I have been high risk the entire time due to having lupus but until 03/16, things were going well. I had a routine appointment with my MFM that afternoon and I told the nurse that I had experienced bleeding after using the restroom two days prior but that it stopped quickly. At this point, I was 19w4d. The doctor opted to do an exam and informed my husband and I that I was 3cm dilated. I was admitted to the hospital, got a cerclage the next day, and went home two days after that. Since then, I’ve been seeing both my MFM and my OB every other week (so one week I’ll see the MFM, the next week I’ll see the OB, and so on).
On 03/28, my cervix measured at 1.4cm but was still closed. My MFM started me on Procardia as needed since I’d been having intense lower abdominal pain and nausea every night for 30-45 minutes. Apparently, those are contractions. Thankfully the Procardia has helped immensely! Unfortunately, my cervix was a bit shorter on the 11th of this month (didn’t give me the specific measurement but they could still see the cerclage with the transvaginal ultrasound). Since then, I’ve been on vaginal Progesterone.
I’m only 24w2d and today, my OB said it would be a luxury for me to make it to 28 weeks…I’m honestly just so terrified. I was so nervous for my appointment today that my blood pressure was high (thankfully when I got home and checked it, it was 112/62 so no pre eclampsia). I feel like we get bad news at every appointment.
I just don’t know how to cope with the fear and anxiety so if anyone has any advice on that, I would appreciate it!
Posted Apr 19, 2023, 3:09 AM UTC
I’m sorry you’re here, but know you aren’t alone! My MFM’s didn’t think I’d make it past 28-30 weeks, even with a cerclage. I was 3cm dilated and only 4mm left of cervix (and had zero symptoms) at 21+6 and ended up having an emergency cerclage placed that day. That was back in December. Today I’m 38 weeks, had the cerclage taken out at 37 (that they struggled to take out) and have my c-section booked for next week at 39. There’s always hope 🤍 There are a TON of success stories on here, and that’s what kept me going on the worst days. It’s hard for sure, but taking it day by day gets easier the farther along you get. Good news is that you made the first milestone of 24 weeks at viability! A lot of women here broke down the rest of their pregnancy in milestones and celebrated the wins as they came. Good luck to you and your family! You’re doing the best you can for your baby!
This gives me so much hope! My MFM has been pretty calm and reassuring through this whole thing (like when my cervix was measuring shorter and I was upset over that, he mentioned how that considering I was 3cm dilated before my cerclage that this isn’t the end of the world) but then when I see my OB, he isn’t really as optimistic and it crushes me because things seem pretty stable between appointments, you know? Like my cerclage is holding, the Procardia stops the contractions quickly, and I feel baby move pretty often.
We knew that pregnancy would be hard on me with my existing health issues but I thought that I’d just feel pretty crummy. I never imagined any of this would happen (not that anyone does!). Thankfully my husband and I only ever planned to have one child because I couldn’t do this again.