[2119] Marconi (2nd Draft)

I re-worked the first draft of this story. Some of the things that I'm looking for are:

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1. Narrative POV - a stuck with a 3rd person, but if at this point the 1st person would work best, then I'd like to know.
2. Many pointed out the cartoony, satirical nature of the original version. The cliche'd dialogue and the stereotypical portrayal of the characters. I'm hoping the characters at least now feel less stereotypical, and more on their way to becoming "real" characters. If not, do let me know.
3. Let me know what you think of the prose, if there is anything that seems "off" as always. Or whatever general opinions you have about it.

These were the primary topics of the critiques from the first round, so I would like those addressed most of all, but also if there is anything else, of course that's welcome too.

I do want to mention that this is a short story but it's missing the ending. It is written, I just didn't include it b/c of the word count I'm allowed. Just something to keep in mind.

Thank you all!

Marconi

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Critiques:

[694] Thou Shalt

[2139] The Wind Farmer's Daughter