Source
r/Divorce_Men•
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Getting taken advantage of during my divorce.

This forum and my therapist are the only sources of truth I seem to have, but I feel like people have been taking advantage of me during my divorce. For example early on I joined a rather pricey group meant to fix my marriage with a big ol guarantee slapped right there on the box. Well Im in such pain I pay the absurd price only to join a cult. So called friends come out of the woodwork and use my weakness to ask for money. Ive just been taken advantage of so much. Even realtors coming out to sell my house smell blood. I dont have to sell my home, but the pain or staying drives me to do so. I want to go back home and leave this place she moved us to, but damn its not an overnight thing. All the handymen, landscapers, pool guys etc. Smell blood and come circling. Has anyone else been through this? Its just me and my daughter now and I hate how many scams Ive already fallen for because Im so damn vulnerable. Also the attorneys haha, biggest scam artists of all. Im just being mislead in so many ways now and Im in so much pain and down its so easy to scam me. I hate this system.

Posted Apr 30, 2023, 3:39 AM UTC

83
dnbndnb•

You don’t note where you live so hard to comment on the home price. That said, Zillow et al have democratized pricing data if property. This makes it easy for you to research home sales prices pre-realtor. In some places it’s better to fix everything, in others it’s better to drop the price accordingly. A good realtor should not only be able to tell you as much, but also be prepared to stage your house accordingly.

As to attorneys, well, it’s all time. You have some control there. Tell them any communication sent them immediately gets forwarded to you first for review. That can cut some time. Try to settle as much between you both as possible without attorneys. You might fight over custody, but being able to set values and divvy the furniture, cars etc in your own save you both a bunch of money.

And speaking of money, to ANY request, just say NO immediately & automatically. Blame it on divorce & attorney costs, financial disclosures, etc.

5
FUMoney•

So called friends come out of the woodwork and use my weakness to ask for money. Ive just been taken advantage of so much.

This is on you. People come asking for cash? "I'm in the middle of a divorce. No can do." And it's over. There's no reason to be taken advantage of.

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Even realtors coming out to sell my house smell blood.

Well, turn it around. Look at this as a good thing. If you've got a shark realtor -- great. Get top fucking dollar for your place. Sell it, bank the proceeds and profits. Then think about getting your new place that is yours, and yours alone. Think about getting a new place that needs minimal work and time. Make the shark realtor earn that commission. Use it to your advantage.

3
Wired4Data•

My advice is change both your mindset and theirs! When realtors, inspectors, etc offered apologies or remarks about my divorce, my immediate response was don’t feel sorry, I’m the one who filed and she was a bitch! I’d usually leave off the “bitch” remark talking to another woman. As for folks coming out of the woodwork.. if they are your friends they shouldn’t be begging. Unless you have FU money, most of us need all the coin we can pull together to rebuild from divorce.

2