This is an illness and I'm believing in all the lies in my head. I want not to kill myself, but I don't really believe in anything else than in a life of sadness.
I really can't see reaching any real happiness in my life.
Posted May 19, 2023, 2:36 AM UTC
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I’m sorry you’re at this place. It is definitely a tough time for you that you did not deserve or cause. I’m in a bit of a murky place myself, so apologies if any of this comes off as blunt.
Getting a pause from the lies and sweeping feelings under the rug, like they’re not real is the major battle. The fact that you highlight them as lies and that you can remember this is an illness, shows a lot. These things deserve your attention and your time.
Wherever and however you can - look towards the things that bring you true peace now. Not just distraction, but something that you wouldn’t usually do because you DO deserve a pause. Give yourself the space to feel a distance from where you are mentally and see if a kinder voice, a more honest voice comes to light. It’s there if we give it permission to resurface…all the best