skeleton334

My brother is getting married and they invited me to a stag party but that type of celebration isn't good for me, especially now that I've stopped drinking. I'm trying to be more me and less what others expect, but taking care of my own needs makes me feel rude. I feel like I have to find an excuse to justify what I need (or don't need).

I won't explain why I had it, and please don't ask me or give me medical advice. I just need to calm down a bit.

I'm happy I got him off my back even if it hurts me to think I've been manipulated for months by a person I got along with as a kid (cousin).

This undermined my self-esteem a bit, but I also learned a lot and will do better next time.

I don't want to talk to him, but this thing makes me anxious. should I text him that I don't want to make a call and that I already wrote what I wanted to say? Is anyone here available to talk to me if I need to?

My cousin is generally aggressive.

I'm ending a relationship with someone and would like support.

Drinking is becoming an habit for me and i want to know what you would say to a non alcoholic you.

Many times I feel like every movement/things I do is stupid and a sign of being worthless, disgusting, etc. Do you feel the same?

This is an illness and I'm believing in all the lies in my head. I want not to kill myself, but I don't really believe in anything else than in a life of sadness.

I really can't see reaching any real happiness in my life.

The only reason for me is because I don't want to ruin the life of my family members, even though I don't love them.

Maybe one of those nights I will get drunk enough and I will commit suicide finally.

If life is a mountain to climb, I'm happy to lose the grip and let the gravity kill me.

It's becoming rare to be sober at night for me.

Sometimes I feel better, sometimes worse.

Sometimes I think about why the world is like this, why it couldn't be like a magic/fairy world? Why this has to be real?

I'm wasting my life trying to recover from something that shouldn't never happened to begin with.

i wonder what my life would have been like if my mental health would have been worse. Woul

Some times ago I changed my WhatsApp profile picture to an infrared photos of my cat (a little bit creepy) and this person (my cousin) "asked"/said to change it (whit an irritated voice) and put a picture of myself instead (I don't want to).

Last week he wrote to me saying(when we were talking about other things): change this photos, I CAN'T HANDLE it anymore.

It's not the first time he's said something about my profile picture, and frankly he seems weird and intrusive to me. We don't even talk much or have mutual friends.

he often said "but why don't you use a photo of yourself" (he is pushing for this) and he always does this in a semi-aggressive tone. he speaks aggressively and not

The problem is... I can't feel positive emotions no matter what I do, and I feel to be at the end of the rope.

On top of this, I'm getting paranoid and scared about my physical health (without any reason) and what is happening in the world. I don't wanna live in a new world war or die from some physical disease (I don't even want to write which one, I'm scared to bring bad luck to myself).

I really don't want to exist anymore and I wish to never be born in the first place, and it's strange if I think that the thought of dying from a physical disease is making me anxious.

I pray to die in my sleep tonight, I don't want to keep going anymore. The only thing that is "helping" me is getting

When drunk (not too much) the music sounds better and i feel more alive, and i was wondering if there is a way to get that feeling without getting drunk.

I wonder if I'm perpetually dissociated and alcohol just undoes that.

Quitting coffee and taking vitamins didn't improve anything.

One thing I've noticed is that coffee has no effect on me, I haven't even had withdrawal symptoms.