What does sexual attraction feel like? (seruous question)

sexual attraction experiences

I relate a ton to you because I also didn't know if the aesthetic/sensual/romantic attraction that I felt was actually sexual attraction. However, I very recently found out I was demi because yeah, it is kind of easy to tell when you feel sexual attraction.

So, in my experience, sexual attraction feels like an urge/an itch to be sexual with someone (obviously).

For me, it represents through a flurry of sexual thoughts, a sort of strong pounding in my chest, I also feel sort of hot (temperature-wise), and I also get a little out of breath even if I'm just sitting. I also get very distracted from anything else going around me by the urge of being sexual.

Arousal obviously appears here. However, I'd say arousal is a much stronger "feeling" when it is caused by sexual attraction rather than by libido or a bodily reaction to stimuli not related to someone you feel sexually attracted to.

Finally, I'd add that even though the feeling of sexual attraction is weird (at least to me), it is a bit of an addictive feeling that you just can't get enough of until you release it in some way or wait some time for it to dissipate on its own.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask them! I'll try to answer them to the best of my abilities lol

I hope other people can also chime in with their experiences to help you understand it a bit better.

Its obviously very hard to explain personal experiences (which may vary wildly from person to person), however best I’ve seen it described is using hunger as an analogous feeling. You might walk past a cake and think ‘damn that looks good, i want to eat it’. For sexual attraction, it similar but with people and ‘damn they look good, id like to be intimate with them’
Hope that helps, your mileage may vary

I have no idea, but my best friend once said that on very rare occasions, allosexuals just look at someone and think "Wow I want to rip off your clothes and fuck you right now." it took 3 other friends confirming that that was a real thing for me to believe it.

(this was in the context of her expecting to have that feeling more often than she did when she was in Paris)

As a demi, I’ve experienced it only with an ex and only in a romantic way also. For my personally, it had a lot of love attached - it felt like loving someone so much I just wanted to get as close as possible to them.

Imagine you see a puppy so cute you just want to squeeze it. That’s somewhat how it is for me - I love someone so much I want them, but sexually. It’s about intimacy.

I don’t know what it’s like for allos though. I don’t understand how you could look at a stranger and want that, if anyone could try and explain how it feels I’d like to know. Or how it happens.

Thanks for all the responses everyone. I’ve just got back from a long day out and it’s great to be able to read all these.

My allo friends generally say that it's what you feel when you'd seriously consider sex with that person. It often means they have to feel safe and stimulated (emotionally and mentally) for them to develop sexual attraction.

What they might have is aesthetic attraction and curiosity before that, and especially younger people might use sexual hyperbole to describe it.

I’m on the ageosexual side of ace spectrum. And I’m pretty sure I may have experienced sexual attraction?

I’m gonna talk about some experiences that will relate to what I think it feels like.

First I’d say, being ageo, I enjoy some “self love” but ik not all aces can relate so similarly euphoric feelings have been eating fresh baked snickerdoodles from the oven or the sensation of hot shower water hitting the top of my head while I’m dead tired. Honestly those experiences were probably better than the “self love” I got going on. Like eyes rolling to the back of my head, moments of pure bliss and comfort.

I’d say a vast majority of the time, the thought of adding a player 2 to my game of pocket pinball makes me feel ill. But I engage in romantic relationships. Where we kiss and cuddle which is nice. There are rare moments where I’m with him and I get this warm feeling in my bits and my brain. The urge to kiss and cuddle get more intense and a bit more naughty.

Overall I still never really feel interest in my bits being touched but in those instances I like being on the giving side rather than receiving.

I probably won't be very good at explaining it but I'll try as I can only speak about a woman's perspective. I get a hot and my face flushes a bit. A feeling of excitement I can feel in my chest and right the way down to between my legs. It's like I can feel my heart pounding in my chest and am very aware of my body and sensitive to any kind of touch. It's very distracting and doesn't subside till I do something about it. It's way more strong when I'm on my period.

Good question!

To crib Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, I am not sure how to define it, but "I know it when I see it"

Uh those are the same questions I have.

I use the following definition:

Sexual attraction is (1) sexual arousal that is (2) triggered by and directed toward a specific person and (3) results in sexual desire for that person.

Many aces experience (1) sexual arousal. Some aces even experience (2) person-targeted sexual arousal. You might even also experience (3) separately from the above two, but due to other motivations (like wanting to strengthen your emotional bond, satisfy your sensual attraction, have children, smooth over conflict, etc.)

As long as you don’t experience all of the above in that sequence, you qualify as asexual.

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