The true, honest self
The side she shows the world
She lays it on the shelf
She winked and twirled
It’s a sad and tired one
But no one would know
She’s got her hair in a bun
she’s able to put on a show
Posted May 29, 2023, 1:36 AM UTC
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I got my hair in a bun right now lol. That's a good simple poem. I like the form and how it is used to reflect the context of the person having 2 sides.
I really like the structure. It's different it's unique. I like the alternating verses, almost like call and response. Interesting. Well done!
Though simple, I like the premise of this one. I can't comment on rhyme and meter because I'm a terrible poet myself, but there's a sense of cheekiness when read on one side, a sense of despair on the other. But overall it comes together to bring a bittersweet and semi-joyful experience.
I love how this poem works as two poems in one, which to me, helps show the two sides to the girl. One thing that took me out of the poem was the line “She’s got her hair in a bun” it took me out of the poem because it describes her hair, while a potentially more fitting line would further describe the true honest self, or why she chooses to hide it from the world. Overall really good and clever!
Ooooooh I love that idea! Thank you for the suggestion 👀