[3010] A Man Well-Hanged (d. 2)

Destroyers of fiction, the tale of alchemist and sorcerer Soriano (slight change of sobriquet) the Sober continues in the form of a second draft of the first chapter. Thank you to those who commented on the first draft. All failures to take your advice into account are due to incompetence only.

I hope there is more character and less verbosity here. The beginning and ending should be a little more effective. I'm sure you will tell me (at length) if they're not!

Link to draft: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ib8zOYnL-sQiqSOP0Jn_bU3Mc4VNz-tjuNwqSRK1v3Q/edit?usp=sharing

Critiques (shortish, so I offer up more than the wordcount to compensate, moderators be praised!): https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/128g3vn/2038_the_hair_on_his_face/

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/128nlb7/3714_the_35th_sulik_war_chapter_one/

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/13dqk28/967_the_winter_king/