So, maybe I'm not an introvert after all?

Although I've (F/45) been dxed with ADHD and prescribed increasing doses of Vyvanse (now at 60mg) for less than a year, one of the immutable facts about myself has always been that I'm terribly introverted, I hate being around others except for a solid chosen few, if I'm going to an event or party I need days of advance notice and preparation and at least three days to sleep it off and wind down afterward, etc.

Since my diagnosis came during COVID lockdowns I have only recently begun to spin my social life back up, and it's.... Different now. It starts with the new job I got last year. At the end of the day, for 20 years in the office, I'm used to coming home and crashing hard - either taking a nap in a darkened room or just decompressing blindly in front of a screen for a couple of hours before starting to feel human again. This hasn't been happening, and I figured, wow, I guess I really love my job (and I do). I forgot to take my meds once or twice in this time period, and both times, I've crashed so hard I had to nap in my car over lunch. The difference in experience is like night and day.

Then early this year I rejoined the choir I'd been a part of before the pandemic (and from which I always had to take occasional breaks from rehearsal due to being overstimulated/too many social activities). This year I didn't miss a single rehearsal and even attended social dinners over our spring performance weekend. A little out of the ordinary for me, but, ok, maybe I hadn't had a chance to overdose on social interaction after a long absence.

It's been a few weeks since choir wrapped up and I think I might be feeling..... Lonely? I can't be sure as I don't think I've ever felt this way, but I've been looking for local social activities and groups that align with my demographic and interests. This has led to what, on paper, looks to me like the worst of nightmare scenarios for the week:

On Tuesday I attended an open-air concert with general admission. This alone should have taken me out for the week! But instead I danced the night away, had a few conversations with other attendees standing nearby and even struck up a conversation or two myself. I went home, slept, and got up the next day for work like it was nothing.

Wednesday I attended a local affinity group meeting for the first time. A room full of strangers and a new location and experience with animated discussion and snacks. Again, I should have had to cocoon myself in a sensory deprivation chamber to recover from that one, but here I am at work chatting about my upcoming plans.

Those include yet another impromptu performance by my choir for a Pride event on Friday. I've actually stopped being anxious about it by now, and am looking forward to it. Then, Saturday, I've been invited to a co-worker's kid's graduation party. And I'm GOING.

My husband (of 13 years) said to me, "In all the time I've known you I've never seen you be this social." And that's because I've NEVER been this social! I've NEVER looked forward to social interactions, plural, happening in the same fiscal quarter.

It's like since my diagnosis and medication I keep having to reevaluate who I think I am and who I thought I was. I'd never have been more certain than that I hate to interact with others, and now I'm like... Who am I?