I am not ready to be an adult.

Fresh from graduating high school three-almost four days ago. Going full-time in a week. I only have so much time. What do I do?

Doing shit with friends is hardly an option, they have their lives and I have mine. They're always busy. Once I go full time, I'll hardly see them again.

I need to do something with my art just so I'm not completely drained of it from work, but what? What do I do? School drained my motivation, but I can't have time to recover and relearn. Work is more important right?

Who cares if I don't eat? Work doesn't. Who cares if I'm depressed? Work doesn't. Who cares if I'm sick? Work doesn't. It's this all-controlling beast that will consume my life with dread and the highest points of my life will soon fade to mediocrity. Who cares if I have a life? Work doesn't. Work will be my life, and nothing else will.

I've battled depression, anxiety, Autism, ADHD, bad relationships, hectic home life and it robbed my childhood fun.

I need to figure everything out, but I haven't even began to figure myself out. I need a home, all these fucking services to sign up for, a relationship with someone, good enough artwork, but I can't. I just can't.

I don't even know how to fix a computer, or cook something myself, or build and screw things together.

I'm not ready to go and give my life away to something that doesn't care for me or even give me a hold on my life. All my coworkers are tired. So, so tired. I'm gonna lose my liveliness, my will to be nice, my will to hold my passions close to me.

I'd rather die