Post Breakup with my best friend
22M broke up w 21F two weeks ago (dating for a year, was close friends for 3 years before that) after she admitted to accepting another guy's confession while still dating me. She said it was the hardest decision of her life, as she loved our relationship, but I wasn't able to provide her with the amount of emotional love she wanted. I was also going through a rough time in my training, and also was not in a good place to provide her with it.
Healing very slowly but I'm just very confused at the moment. I know what she did was cheating, but I really couldn't bring myself to hate, or even be angry at her. She appeared super broken about her decision, and I really felt like she regretted her decision. There's still a lot of affection between us that neither of us can act on now, because we've chosen to split up. However, both of us are still fond of each other and want to stay at least friends in the future. What should we do to get over the relationship but still keep a friendly connection?
Posted Jun 22, 2023, 1:46 AM UTC · edited
I don't mean to be disrespectful but what exactly does "accepting another guys confession" mean exactly?
She met a guy with whom she was friendly. They hung out more in public, and then in private while she was still dating me. Caught feelings for him along the way that she didn't realise was romantic. The guy got the wrong idea and confessed to her formally. She didn't say no right away, came back to me. Told me everything she did and apologised profusely and said that she couldn't continue our relationship because she felt too strongly for this other guy. Went back to the guy and said yes.
Oof. That is... not cool. Very not cool. I am seriously sorry that happened to you, dude. On a bright note, at least she didn't try and maintain two relationships and lie to you for potentially years. Not giving her a medal or anything, but it's a decency not every dumpee gets. For now just... focus on survival. Once you've got down... the future is yours to make.
Yea she is really a decent person deep down and I had a role to play in why she was seeking affection outside the relationship too.
It just hurt that this was immediately the day after we had the best date into...couply time that she loved so much she couldn't stop gushing about it late into the night. It felt...really fake now.
I wouldn't say it was fake. With everything going on she might ve been hypersensitive- but in a feelgood way, making the fun times that much better. Wife of 14 years just left me for the last time. But the night before the first time she left? Easily in the top 5 romps of a - at the time - 11 year relationship. You're not alone, buddy.