[2380] Saving this for Last (Sci-Fi Comedy)

Hey guys, so first time posting something here, wanted to get some feedback on my sci-fi comedy novel's opening, whether it's entertaining, whether you'd read on, etc. The title is just a placeholder, still working on that. But really wanting to get some raw opinions on this piece, and see what you think.

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SAVING THIS FOR LAST (2,380 WORDS)

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Critiques:

[3,169 words] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14ev7km/comment/jq001b2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3