[3169] Coal at the Crossroads, Part 2/2

This is the second half of the story I first posted here 2 days ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14cvkv1/3531_coal_at_the_crossroads_part_12/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

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I received far more feedback than I was expecting and just want to thank everyone who has commented so far. I hope you enjoy the second half and can't wait to hear everyone's thoughts. As I noted before, I'm hoping to submit this to magazines eventually so I'm really looking for high-level feedback, e.g. on pacing, characterization, overall plot, narrative voice, and whether it's compelling. (Also as I noted before, please assume virtually any grammatical errors you see are intentional, and a reflection of the narrator's vernacular as "eye-dialect"--thank you u/Far-Worldliness-3769 for the amazing historical perspective and for teaching me a new term.)
Link to story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ciNLdqD9AcZzxbRjttPFDG6Kx43ozQZuvp0MbKrLBbw/edit?usp=sharing
Crits:
[3-part crit on Break Point = 1349](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/13lcbxq/comment/jocgi2t/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3)
[2-part crit on Soulbound = 470](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14c2g68/comment/jol2206/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

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[2-part crit on The Great War: Honour Before Diplomacy = 820](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14cvze2/comment/jowrm5u/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

[2-part crit on How Many Eggs Make a Sister? = 1141](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14chyqc/comment/jowjsrp/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

[1-part crit on The Ancestor = 327] (https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/14be0xm/comment/joww7iw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

Total = 4107

Posted Jun 21, 2023, 2:45 AM UTC

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