[3514] Red One - Ch. One

This is the first chapter of Red One, a sci-fi story that I'm having a lot of fun writing. There are now eight chapters in total, and I still feel like the first one is the weakest of the bunch. I'd appreciate your feedback!

I'm curious what you think about the dialogue and setting, but other than that I don't have many specific questions. Just let me know what you think and where you think there's room for improvement.

Red One Chapter One

Spoilers:

!The setting is a self-sufficient post-Revolution Mars colony. The first chapter takes place on the outskirts of that colony, and the next few chapters tour the city. My question is, is this chapter a good introduction to that world?!<

!Delle has a history as a drug peddler that he's trying to escape, which is something I explore in the following chapter. Blaire, Kelso, and Red One's social hierarchy are going to be relevant throughout, but they're not the main narrative focus. The ship that they spot at the end is going to be the catalyst for a lot of changes, and will be involved in the inciting incident in the third chapter.!<

Critiques: [2078] + [1681] + [1716]