Analogy

"Hi! I'm here to help you with your ill fish!"

"That's very nice, but it's actually a dolphin, and..."

"Oh, that doesn't matter really!"

"Huh? Uh, yes, yes, it does."

"I am just not that concerned with labeling, you know. You call it a dolphin, I call it a fish, we are both right in our own way, is my view. What matters is that we both want to help this poor fish."

"It's not a... look... it doesn't matter what we call it as such, as long as you realize that there's a difference."

"I absolutely respect your belief that your fish is special!"

"I... that's very openminded, but it's still not a fish. It's a dolphin."

"All right then. Let's not argue. We can agree to disagree. The basic needs and such are the same either way, aren't they?"

"Noooooot really. For example, dolphins have to get up to the surface to get air and..."

"I think you're wrong about that one actually. Fish can breathe underwater, you know."

"Yes. Yes, they can. Fish. Fish can breath underwater. This is a dolphin. Dolphins cannot breather underwater."

"I once saw a fish just like that swimming around deep under water. It was perfectly fine!"

"That's not really relevant."

"What, do you believe I am making this up?"

"No."

"Well, then. This particular fish just like yours was perfectly fine. So obviously they don't necessarily need to come up for air."

"Look. I. Nevermind."

"I am just trying to get through to you. I think you have a bit of a defeatist attitude. I tell you I have seen this kind of fish under water being perfectly fine. It is possible. Believe! Just believe!"

"Dolphins can't breather underwater. You may have concluded they can because they can actually hold their breath for a very long time."

"I have noticed that you are very defensive about your 'dolphin'."

"That's just because..."

"I want you to know that I don't hate your 'dolphin'. It's a very nice fish."

"It. Is. Not."

"Hm. Well, maybe you shouldn't contradict people when they say something nice about your fish. That might affect it psychologically!"

"It..it...but...I mean...It is a nice fish. But actually it's not a nice fish!"

"Ah! Gotcha!"

"What?"

"Oh, that's rich, you didn't even notice. You just contradicted yourself there completely. Still, on some level you do realize it's a fish apparently."

"Could you please just stop helping."

"You don't really seem to care for this fish, do you?"

"What?"

"It's okay. You don't have to force yourself to like fishes."

"What?"

"Well, you don't think this fish is nice, you don't want me to help it, you seem to have, and I am sorry for being so blunt, some kind of issue with fishes."

"Fishes... fishes are not the issue at all."

"Really? Well. If you could hear yourself, you have been talking an awful lot about fishes this entire time."

"I..."

"Maybe we should talk about in what way you benefit from avoiding this 'fish' issue?"

"..."

"Because it's very convenient, isn't it? Very sad to have a sick fish, lots of emotions to deal with. It's understandable you don't want to accept that. Maybe you blame yourself. You shouldn't do that. We all make mistakes. But you can't just make up this 'dolphin' animal. You have to face reality!"

"I am not making this up! You can look it up. You can ask...I don't know a marine biologist or something."

"Well, now we see the real issue. I think you put too much stock in theoretical knowledge. I can still help you even if I'm not a fancy perfessor. I've got lots of practical experience with fish. That's important!"

"Oh dear lord! Yes, yes you can. But not if you treat it as a fish!!!"

"Well, well, well. You seem to be getting frustrated."

"We... we have a communication problem. I think it's frustrating for both of us."

"Hah!"

"What?"

"You think I'm frustrated?"

"I was kind of assuming this kind of conversation would frustrate everyone, yes."

"Why should I be frustrated? It's your fish! I want to help, but I don't have a personal attachment to your fish! I won't get any blame when it dies!"

"Okay. I was wrong about you getting frustrated."

"We call that 'projecting'."

"I see."

"Because I could not possibly ever be frustrated in any way in such a situation. Now, if you do care for your fish's wellbeing we should maybe get back to that."

"It's. It's not. A fish, I mean. It's not a fish."

"Hmmm. Tell me about your mother."

"What?"

"Did your mother like fish?"

"Well, she... IT DOESN'T MATTER!"

"Talking about your mother does seem to make you angry though."

"... You know what. You're right. You were right all the time. It's a fish. I'm sorry for being so stubborn. It's very good of you to offer help. I just need some help to get this dolphin from my bathtub to the Ocean."

"Hm. Nah, I'm not gonna do that."

"But you wanted to help!"

"With a sick fish, sure. In an advisory capacity. But I'm starting to think this fish isn't sick at all, you just don't want to take responsibility for it."

"I AM taking responsiblity for it by trying to... I swear to you if we don't get it to the Ocean it will get sick."

"Oh, I am sure it will be happier in the Ocean. But that's really is more of an animal rights thing, you know? Not my department."

"I. Uh. What? Uh. Okay, let me see, from your point of view, okay, I'd say there's some overlap there between animal rights and animal care. I mean, they won't fire you for helping me like that?"

"Nah. Guess not. So it's just a matter of getting this fish to the Ocean really?"

"IT'S NOT A... ARRGH! ... Yes. Yes, that's it."

"Eh. I think you can handle that on your own though. Have a good day."