Source
r/brussels•
benjithepanda

Did I get scammed

Hi everyone, so today I encountered this homeless person that was in one of the worst shape I've seen. It was a young person, in their 20s, and acting very desperate. I took the time to talk to that person and her story. To be honest, I was touched and gave her the 12 euros I had in my pocket. (Basically I was going for 2 euros and saw a 10 note I forgotten about)

The person said it would give it back but I refused because it was a donation.

Knowing that this is quite a large amont to give to a homeless person. I have this uneasy feeling that I fell into a scam. What do you think?

Posted Aug 24, 2023, 11:42 PM UTC

123
Dangerous_Refuse_663•

Since they didn't directly ask you for any substantial amount of money and said they'd pay it back with no obligations I don't think you got scammed. The person may actually have been desperate and wasn't expecting someone to just hand her 12 euros without any obligations.

A scammer would try to guilt trip you into giving them a minimum amount, for example: "I need 30 euro for gas to go back to my country" or "I need 15 euro to buy food for my hungry children". That doesn't seem to be the case here.

1
benjithepandaOP•

The person did mention sleeping on the street and was hoping to get enough for rent.

Oh well, I was generous if it helped great, if not, technically not my problem.

1
Sudden-Opinion190•

Dude, I think just fell for the same scam a few hours ago lol

1
Svazu•

I mean , this is a thing that does happen to people. They might have hoped to be able to pay for a hostel as the free shelters can sometimes be really unsafe as well and have limited space.

As long as you have enough money for yourself I think you did a good thing.

1
xcentriqkiwi•

You offered the money, how is this a scam?

1
gvasco•

Well if the so mentioned homeless actually wasn't homeless, but pretending to be homeless. All scams try to get the person to voluntarily give them what they're after, that's what makes them tricky to pursue in justice.

1
joels341111•

Regardless, OP refused to take the money back it seems like. OP is feeling guilty for helping someone?

1
gvasco•

It could've been an empty offer. Also the filings of guilt only come after realising one might've been scammed

1
Hube710•

Reminds me of a guy with glasses that I met in Central station. I was waiting for a train, and he comes up to me, fairly clean shape. He went on telling me that he lost his papers and wallet etc, and he’s missing some money for a bus to go back to Lille. He pulled up some paper from police with the statement. He also offered to pay me back. I declined. I gave him the 15€ cash I had on me and went my way.

A couple days go by, and I see him walking around St-Catherine neighbourhood, with same clothes, and with what seemed to be takeout bag.

On another occasion, I ran into him while in a rush for a train, seeing him pulling out seemingly the same paper and telling the person what I assume is the same story.

As much as he did not seem to be a user to me, and actually genuinely just uses the money for food etc, it still feels shitty to know that I was lied to for money. It doesn’t help that he also seems to specifically choose the place next to ATMs below, for his scheme.

1
benjithepandaOP•

I think this happened to me

1
PetreInspirescu•

Also happened to me. Met him in St. catherine during Xmas market.

He wasn't wearing glasses, he was coloured, and muslim. He had the same kind of story (going to Lille from Paris, fell asleep, someone stole his luggage, phone etc.), he also had the papers from the police.

He was almost crying, seemed in his 20's. I gave him money, and walked away. But as I was walking around i was thinking he kept saying he hadn't eaten. I was feeling bad because I havent offered anything and i just walked away. So i went back, found him again and went with him to get something to eat.

We talked a lot, was quite a nice talk we had, i was in a pretty bad situation at the time, so it actually helped talking with him. We went on to gare du midi, near the ibis hotel where the people with the vans, going to Paris are, he actually talked to the guys to get him there.

After a while we parted ways, I left him my phone number, but he never got back.

1
Hube710•

The guy I mentioned earlier was of black skin, wearing dark clothing and had a small backpack I think. I remember him praising god after I gave him the money but I am no longer sure if he was Christian or Muslim. He was also on the verge of tears when speaking.

Your description reminds me of another case I had, where I gave some cash also in Gare Centrale, to a guy in his mid 20s who was talking about getting back to France, but I no longer remember the city. He was pretty skinny, definitely tears in his eyes, and he showed me his shoes being broken apart. I remember that he told me he was Syrian, was rocking a slight beard with a fairly distinguishable moustache. It might have happened during your Christmas market experience with the guy.

1
BXL1070•

Met a guy once in front of my home in Anderlecht. Guy was desperate, half crying, said he was a sans papier, asked if he could take a shower as he hadn’t bathed for 5 days. Guy was smelly, like a homeless, reallly felt for him so let him have a shower. Told my wife while he was in the shower that I would give the poor soul some cash.

Offered him tea afterwards. Said he was a Moroccan political refugee, chased by secret service in Morocco, been thrown in jail with some colleagues, had lived horrible stories. Tears would well up with him frequently while he told his story. He seemed nervous, had red eyes and dirty hands. He kind of had the signs of an addict, however I kind of dismissed the idea because he had said earlier he does not like Samusocial as it is full of drug addicts. The marks could as well have been from life on the streets, I thought.

Guy seemed pretty smart. Said he gave language classes in France for an NGO. Was mentioning how he had to get a new passport at the consulate, which would cost him. Thought it was a bit weird given he was a refugee and sans papier, so questioned him about it, but he came up with explanations. My gut feeling kind of said some things didn’t add up, but my conscience kind of pushed it back, this guy was showing real emotions, who was I to doubt he hadn’t lived these dreadful stories?

Offered him some food to go and he carefully asked if I could help him a bit for his passport. Said I had planned to. Now, it’s important to know that once I make a rational decision it’s pretty hard for me to reverse this because of gut feeling. (There must be a psychological term for this.) It’s also important to know I never give money on the street, never. But I can be very generous. And this guy’s story really grabbed me.

So I took out a banknote. I expected some hesitation, some polite “no, it’s too much.” Instead, the look in his eyes changed into greed, and he took the money without any hesitation. At that point I knew I got screwed over, he was most probably an addict and it was totally unsure how much, if any, of his story was true. After he left, I told my wife we hadn’t seen the last of this guy.

Sure enough, day later, my wife calls me (had a work dinner). Guy was at our door. Asking for 20, as he had found work in Liege and needed money for a ticket. Now that i didn’t like. I told him I had helped and that it ends here. That I don’t appreciate him ringing our door. That his new employer can advance him a ticket. But that there is nothing for him anymore from me.

Guy always stayed polite, said he understood and left. I saw him once more in the street while I was talking to a neighbour. He looked in a better shape physically and wearing fresh clothes. He politely said hi.

Anyway, whole story learned me that my basic attitude - don’t give money, don’t help directly - is the right one and I shouldn’t deviate from it. And that I should try to be more flexible and listen to my gut…

1
Downtown_Landscape34•

You could pick a ngo you believe in and give them some money like infirmière de rue, In Brussels, then you will be what you are, an helping and caring person, and you will be sure of the destination of your donation. If you give to random people on the street, just give and forget about it, it’s not your money anymore.

1
DikkeNek_GoldenTich•

Whats the scam part? You voluntareky gave money away? Uou gave 1o euro's away you didnt even know you had in your pocket....

1
BeenPlacesSeenStuff•

Charity noob

1
SharkyTendenciesDrinks beer with pinky in the air•

I personally don't give directly - when I have some extra cash I donate to various organizations that work directly with the homeless.

Unfortunate as it is, there are lots of scammers out there.

In your situation, no, I don't think you got scammed (because ultimately you decided to give her €12 cash, she didn't trick you).

One way to avoid this is to simply not carry cash unless it's necessary.

1
ricardocarvalh00•

Wtf did I just read?

1
I_needabrain_I•

What is this ? You wonder if, by voluntarily giving the extraordinary sum of 12 euros to someone in the street, you have been scammed ?

Scammed on what exactly sir ? Did you consider this a loan to that person because they said they would give it back ? Do you intend to search for them in a week or two and ask your money back ?

Sometimes, before writing or speaking, on should think a little bit more.

1
benjithepandaOP•

You need a brain, if I give someone money to get rent and they instead were faking it. I would feel scammed.

But if you've read my post. My intention was to donate the money, not loan it..

Please go wake up intellectually before posting.

1
I_needabrain_I•

You need to re-read your own story. Nowhere did you say that person even asked for money. You made the conscious decision to give money to someone. You even yourself say it was a donation...a gift.....

You scammed yourself then.

1
benjithepandaOP•

if you had a brain or got out of your room from time to time, you would have assumed so.

Do you also need me to tell you the color of the pavement to make sure you understand the story.

1
joels341111•

OP, you attacked someone who gave you a reasonable response to your post.

Forget the 12 euros and move on with your life. Are you going to follow the homeless person for a week and see if they put the 12 euros towards rent or beer?

Once you give over the money, it is no longer your property. You don't get to dictate how they use it.

If you want to give, give to a reputable charity that will ensure the money goes to where it's needed.

1
Same-Resort9932•

Sometimes when i was going to the shop, a random guy askes if i can buy a painting, but i said no.But i have 20 euros in my pocket. Am i a bad person or not.

1
AmbitiousAntelope429•

I don't think you were scammed, because a scam if i am not mistaken has to have a notion of unknwness. For instance, you paid for a very cheap train ticket, and never received it, realized it was a fake train company. Or pair for an ice fream realize ir waz folored eater wirh sugar. In this situation, you are giving a good knoeing eere it is going, in fact to that person.

But if i understand your post porperly, the uncomfortable element hrre seem to be that you were guilted into giving that money, and hence did not feel like you gave it freely. It is perfectly understable. I dont tuink people that are harrassing people for the street in money are liying all that much about being in a difficult sityation : given any other situation, like a health care insurance, a stable job, with firing insurances, who would actually choose to go guilt people in the streeta to get 12 euros every what... 5 hours?

On the other hand , one could ask if it is a normal situation than people would rightfully i am not questionning that, feel that they have anyother choice than to guklt people on the streets to give them money. Is this really what a "developped" country would look like ? ( and that ofc not just a critic of the state of society in belgium but in any "developped country" with people struggling enough to be out on the street, having to ask for the empathy of individuals, amd for them to individuallh help them out.

So i understand that you feel scammed. But in my oppinion, we're actually being scaed by the state in som way, if it makes any sense :)

1
maxledaron•

what a huge scam, the scammer might offer himself a maxi giant menu at quick while he told you he was gonna pay rent!

1
benjithepandaOP•

I'd feel guilty if he bought drugs. Thus wandering if i did the right thing or not.

1
maxledaron•

should your boss feel guilty about giving you money 'cause you might buy drugs or alcohol with it?
Didn't your parents give you pocket money when you were a teen because they'd feel guilty if you bought drugs?

1
joels341111•

Pro tip: keep a 1 or 2 euro coin in a separate pocket (such as the 5th pocket most jeans have). Give money from that pocket so you don't have to take out your wallet

1
Rich_Kaleidoscope829•

The only scammy thing would be that the person wasn't in need, which you probably figured out is the case after talking to them. Scammers usually won't take too much time to talk with you because they don't have much to say. Giving 2€ or 12€ or 100€ is your choice so that can't be considered a scam. Also they are probably going to use it for alcohol or drugs, maybe some food, maybe to pay for a place to stay at night, because they mostly want to live 5 minutes out of their misery and have no chance to "budget" their way out of poverty

1
Particular-Fig8101•

Honestly, I don’t get how a person legally living in Belgium is homeless. There are many organisations here helping poor and people in need.

1
GSlider991•

You should never think this way! You lr part od the job is to help the ones in need by time to time. You did you part of the job. Now the rest is between him and god.

When you give, move on. Be aware that even if you got « scammed » there is still a reason why this person begs for money in the street amd whatever is that reason it still means that he is in a bad time of his life. No one likes to beg for money because it hurts the ego.

1