[1619] The Reality Conservation Effort

Hi all. Haven't written anything like this since college so I wanted to know if this was an enjoyable read. Do you see any potential for this story and/or the writing itself? Any comments are appreciated.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nkwzAqXuB_lK41F4YPGHjrFS1sww5qA37OAmHllbSTI/edit?usp=sharing

(Please let me know if you have any issues accessing the link - much appreciated!)

Crit [1250]

Crit [3105]

Re-upload. Mods - I've added another crit (1250 one) which I think is more high effort than my original submission, please let me know if there are any issues. Thanks!