An Ode to my Debt - Goodbye and Good Riddance!

On 8.28.23, I paid off the rest of my student loans. I did this in 101 payments, over 7 years, with some help from a global pandemic and government interference. $32.5k, gone, with one final transfer of my anxiously awaiting funds.

And during this weird window: I paid off my car ($9.5k), lived in several apartments with different roommates, moved to New York City, doubled my income over 3x different jobs, started a 401k, maxed my ROTH 2x years in a row, went through a massive breakup, started an HSA, done some solo traveling, and I’ve never had credit card debt over $1k. In March, I turned 30.

I am as broke, but as free, as I’ve ever been.

I thought I’d feel more moved by all of this. I’ve thought about this moment, this feeling of freedom, and any inherited debts being wiped away with my own sweat equity, problem solving, and discipline. Would I cry? Would I be elated? Now, any financial choices I make are only mine, and are centered on building wealth! Not, paying something owed that I didn’t fully understand when it was incurred. I told myself years ago that the sushi dinner I'd get in congratulations to myself would be my reward.

Truthfully I don’t feel anything yet. It’s hard to see the big picture of my financial life. I still feel so behind. Things, living in this economy, feels unobtainable…and I had help, gifts, and support along the way to get to manage my own debt. Compared to some folks, this was no biggie at all. I could have done it faster if I’d been more dedicated, said “no” to more. Been more aggressive, etc. 

Having debt feels isolating. It feels that most of my community don’t understand what it’s like to be down a financial peg; to have to start several paces behind the ‘START’ line. My parents were ashamed that we didn’t have money, and they never wanted to talk about it with me. I had to stumble around and trial test different strategies on how to take my next steps. Thank you to r/studentloans, r/personalfinance, and r/debtfree for being the community I could turn to when it seemed so daunting or confusing. Having forums like this comforted and inspired me.

Debt sucks. But, it’s important to acknowledge there’s good we learn when confronting it. I learned (sort of) how to cook. I began cheaper activities like camping and hiking. I spent more time using what I was already paying for (i.e – the gym, Netflix). I’m better versed in personal finance and building a stronger financial foundation than my family had. It’s changed how I approach relationships with others, in a good way. I had to advocate for promotions. I worked for new job opportunities with bigger pay bumps and learned I wasn’t wrong for wanting more money. I better understand the value of $1 – but also $5k, $10k, and $20k.

Time to dream a new dream! And, one that is a platform, not a hole to crawl up out of. I should make a restoration for sushi sometime soon...

Lastly, if you made it this far, I see you and I am rooting for you.  You’re more than your debt. These are just numbers. You are a thinking, feeling, intelligent being and having any kind of debt doesn’t make you less than those who don’t.