Source
r/disability•
lacitar

My hair

Rant

I love my mom. She's always been there for me. In the past 6 months I have been in the hospital for an extended stay 3 times.

But my mom is currently not worried about any of my medical issues. She's worried because the hair at the very top of my head is developing a bald spot. It's because of my meds, no biggie. She wants me to go to a clinic, get blood drawn out of me (I'm anemic) and have the blood injected into my head. So that maybe I can grow hair on my head.

But my grandmother had much thinner hair than me, and she never offered this to her. My brother shaved his head because of his receding hairline. She only offered it to me because "girls should not be bald."

I've been fighting with her over my looks my whole life. She started putting me on diets when I was 8. Here's a clue, I had bad endometriosis. My lining had grown past the size of a grapefruit but a little smaller than a basketball. It was why I never list weight.

And now she's done it again, made me feel like a fat bald cow. I just lost 40 pounds in 5 months. But I feel like a bald cow.

Posted Sep 18, 2023, 7:40 AM UTC

16
Proof-Tax-3947•

Ur mum should be focussed on helping u through ur medical issues. Appearance is irrelevant

1
gaommind•

What’s her motivation? Sounds like it is her problem and not yours. Just say no. Having blood drawn and injected in your head sounds bad medicine.

1
MaximumZer0•

It sounds like your mother is more worried about how your image makes her look to others or feel about herself.

Fuck what she thinks and do what's best for your health. Even as a long haired metal dude who puts a lot of work into my mane, it's just hair at the end of the day. If all else fails, wigs exist, although they're kind of expensive.

1
TitchJB•

My hair started thinning - meds and menopause. I use caffeine shampoos and my hair notably less patchy. If you are worried, try this. If she annoys you again, tell her to buy you this... It's less invasive than pointless injections and has at least a little chance of helping x

1
EnthusiasmNo2790•

I’m sorry to say this is her coping mechanism. I do understand as I’ve lost the relationship with my dad since being paraplegic because he couldn’t cope.

Your mum has honed in on this issue because that’s her language. She has a history of only looking at the outside image (not the internal struggle). I can guarantee her mother was even harder on her about image.

I’m not saying this is right but hopefully you can see it’s not that she’s dismissed your disability she just doesn’t have the ability to express her concerns in the way that you need. It’s nothing you’ve done wrong and it’s ok to stop trying to convince her, you will only become more exhausted.

Also I’m an ex hairdresser of 20 years. Just look into using something like Nioxin to stimulate the blood flow to the hair follicle. It’s simple and it works.

1
Kerivkennedy•

I say this in the most gentle way possible. Stand up to your mother, do this for yourself.

1
lacitarOP•

Oh, I am. I'm refusing to do it. And I told her how her being so up in arms about my hair makes me feel, and she has backed off

1
Kerivkennedy•

Good for you.

And others are right. It's her own deflected coping issues with your health changes. It's hard on parents, too. We hate seeing our kids go through crap (I'm speaking from personal experience). Sometimes, parents react poorly.
My daughter is total care, and I tend to be overprotective.

1