Sadly, I’m one of the statistics. No contact emotionally screwed with my head.

Hello, everyone. I'd like to share my thoughts and experiences.

I was in a four-year relationship with someone truly beautiful. We were close to getting engaged and starting a family, and I loved her deeply. I had a strong bond with her family, particularly her father.

The main challenge in our relationship was her addictive personality. Despite numerous discussions about how her triggers affected me, she didn't make an effort to seek help. This was perplexing because, when planning a future together, you'd expect someone to work on their issues, right? Her triggers could be triggered by various things, like noises, smells, or different environments. Her emotions were unpredictable. I genuinely tried to support her and be patient, knowing her past experiences as a recovering alcoholic would be lifelong. Her sobriety would reach ten years in 2024, and I never had an issue with her wanting to drink.

After our breakup, I gained clarity on how to be there for her and validate her feelings. However, three months later, she initiated no contact, making it tough for me. I reached a dark place, considering self-harm and seeking ways to end my life (went to the gun shop multiple times). I also clung to false hope, thinking she might want to be with me if I proved myself. I cried daily, but it's now down to twice a week, and things are slowly improving, although I still feel lost and broken.

I wrestle with shame for giving her chances to better herself. I stayed because I knew she was a great person, and her family embraced me. Leaving meant saying goodbye to her family as well. In the end, I couldn't bear the thought of our potential children witnessing constant turmoil and their mother's instability.

I believe I made the right choice, but some days, I regret it because I still love her deeply. The truth is that those you love the most can hurt you the most. I wish I had the strength to end it sooner, but I held onto a fantasy that she'd change.

I'm uncertain about the future. I get triggered daily, living in the house where we spent four years together. Getting out of bed and job hunting is a struggle. I know it will improve, but this pain is unlike anything I've felt before. I don't believe I deserve it, given how I treated her.

If you're reading this, I'd advise against cutting off contact abruptly with someone who's kind and willing to do anything for you. It's best to have open conversations and establish boundaries rather than risking indirect harm.