[1276] Mysterious Jazz

I (20F) write as a hobby but have never shared my writing with anyone before. I am currently focusing on writing short stories and want to get some feedback. I need more direction because right now, I don't really know how to further develop or improve my stories.

Here is a link to a story I recently finished, "Mysterious Jazz". Feel free to be brutally honest.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mzIt3nmxC7X4niDEU8rD1421cuUYTaEHkklHke-ho4Q/edit?usp=sharing

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Critiques:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/17k4293/comment/k75li3j/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/17gvp8i/comment/k75tvwg/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3