[1368] Henri d'Orleans
The following is a short chapter from my historical fiction novel set in 1930s France*; for context, the villain (a monarchist news editor) coaxes a banished prince into working with him. Within the whole story, this is the second time the villain appears, btw- I introduced him two chapters back so you won’t see a FULL description of what he looks like here, unfortunately. You’re just going to have to envision a scary looking European guy with a flatcap and cane, haha.
Main questions:
-Based on what you’ve read, what would you say the villain’s motives are? I’d answer that question easily here, but I won’t want that to take away from your critique. Rather than give it away, I’ll rather ask you guys instead so I know if it’s clear or not.
-Did the chapter end on a satisfactory note? I trudged through several alternative endings including a scuffle with a policeman, but none of those turned out as well as I had hoped or really went anywhere. I figured that I’d segway into the next chapter instead by hinting at the Prefect’s involvement.
-I’m mainly concerned about the pacing and whether or not it makes sense. This is only four pages…four. I don’t know what aspects could be longer without throwing exposition at you through the characters’ dialogue (because let’s face it, that’s now how people talk in real life). Some insight would be much appreciated!
*Another thing is that we should assume they’re speaking French and it’s translated. I just sometimes add French words and phrases for the zeitgeist of the story. So…do not be alarmed, haha. I really would like to know what is working for you and what isn't. Thanks!
Posted Feb 1, 2024, 5:04 AM UTC