[1509] Turbulent Minds (chap. 1 excerpt)

Hi all! First time posting so apologies if I do anything wrong.

This is also my first creative work, so I am particularly looking for any obvious missteps (overused tropes, etc) that will cause you to put down the book, as well as general thoughts about how enganging this is as the start of a novel. I am concerned a bit about the pacing (the novel is largely character-focused), especially in this first segment before other characters are introduced. I would also appreciate any advice on the first few paragraphs, since the 'first page' doesn't thrill me at the moment.

I think the genre is somewhere between dystopian, suspense, and lit-fic, although I doubt any of the latter comes across in this excerpt. The novel opens in a war but quickly moves away from this setting.

The linked doc is the beginning of my first chapter (1509 words / 4550) of a novel.

Thanks for all of the help!

Content warning: Graphic violence, profanity.

Document Link

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Crit: [1666]