[864] First page and blurb of a portal fantasy story.

I'm making another attempt to write a strong opening for a portal fantasy story. My main question is whether the blurb and first page do a good job of drawing readers into the story. If anything in the prose/overall storytelling felt jarring/confusing, please let me know.

Story:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1feMI_0wzVSb64nr0SArkzEKZ2Ir4xCVG/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=101605033424355073342&rtpof=true&sd=true

Critique: [1810]

Thanks for the feedback!