[1800] All the Memories Come to Kill- thriller opening

A man meets an odd woman. Is she his salvation, or his road to hell? A psychological thriller of a different type. I've been working on the dialog. It's hard to keep it somewhat natural while achieving my writing goals. What do you think?

Story: [1800] https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1lQuGp_WAcLV7XgBIQZO1OgvSbmMn6Ase/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=117967880330222501030&rtpof=true&sd=true

Critique 1 [1151]: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1e80fl7/1151_big_a_bytes_chapter_3v2/

Critique 2 [1601]: https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1e944z3/1601_three_stations_squarehotel_leningrad/