10.8 Godly Appearances
Modern psychology says that no one in normal healthy people can recall things before the age of three, but it is not uncommon among mentally ill people. The “fate through” phenomena discussed above all occurs in mentally ill patients. I believe that's because people's memories of affairs are stored with their emotional memories, and that "fate through" is triggered by drastic and rapid changes in psychopath's emotions. So, how is Troupe Leader Liu sure that I, Luyan, will go crazy? Readers should know that modern psychology and psychiatry do not yet know the causes of psychosis; but Troupe Leader Liu was convinced that he could create mental illness, and he was also sure that “after I Luyan is crazy, I will heal myself”, wherein?
If I go crazy and die, all his works will be useless! Why would he do that if those are useless! In 2014, after I understood that I was the subject of Troupe Leader Liu’s soul reincarnation experiment, I often wondered what the cause of my illness was.
1 Introductory Case of Mental Disorder
In one of my re-readings of my memoirs, I noticed the Introductory Case of Mental Disorder in section 4.8. Person A was on the road when he saw a man walking across the street, with blood running down his face, hurrying away from the fair. At the time, Person A didn't care; but after walking past, he suddenly thought, “Oops!” He seemed to recognize that man just now. Person A could not remember who that man was or where he had seen him. A few days later, Person A heard that the man with the bleeding face had died, and he felt sick. A few days later, Person A became ill. Uncle Dragon told him that the cure for Person A's illness was to go to that person's funeral and give him a respectful send-off.
When I was a teenager, once Uncle Dragon told me this introductory case of mental illness again. I expressed disbelief. He suddenly got angry: “Believe it or not, you give me to remember it! I heard that 85-95% of the psychiatrists in the hospital do not understand mental illness; how do you know you will never encounter it in your life! Remember it, this story may save you one life!”
2 Case II
I recalled a rare event that my mom told me when I was a child. Once, she came back from my second aunt's house, very excited, and said, “I met your second aunt's second son, your second brother, and I didn't recognize him. He spoke and I was shocked to hear his voice before I recognized him! He's lost a third of his weight, he's so thin that he lost his appearance!”
I was shocked and asked, "Geez! What disease did he get? How is he now?"
Mom replied, "You won't believe me when I tell you! He encountered a Misfortune!"
I couldn't understand what my mom was saying! Mom explained, “At first I didn't believe it either, but look at how thin he is! I should not unbelieve! Your second brother said it himself. On his way to work, he often saw an old man in a place where old people gathered, looking familiar, smiling as if he knew him. He thought the old man was nice and kind, so he occasionally said hello and had words with him. One day, he passed by there again, and the old man had died, and the family was in mourning. Your second brother, who had never attended a funeral, was curious, so he went in to look. Two days later, he was sick, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, lost one-third of his body weight. He went to the big hospitals in Shenyang and Anshan and did a lot of examinations and tests. The results were all what was not sick; no one could explain what was wrong with him. He could only go home and wait for death. There was nothing else to do, so your second aunt went to the home of a Big God. The Big God is a woman. When your second aunt said a few words, she said, ‘He encountered a Misfortune, was rude to him! This is what you must do.’ The Big God told your second brother should go and apologize to the old man! That Big God said, ‘When a human breathes his last, is Misfortune.’”
Mom said, “For better or worse! This is also a hope. They then bought things like a pig's head and fruits as the Big God said and went “to commonwealth” to the old man's grave. According to the Big God, after kowtowing and apologizing, your second brother had to walk around the grave three times, and as he did so, he jabbered an apology to the old man. At that time, your second brother couldn't even walk. Two people helped him to walk three rounds. Your second brother said himself that when he came to the third circle, he felt sweaty. After three laps, he was 70% better. By the time he reached home, he was cured, less than two hours before and after, just like a normal person. Of course, he was still so thin.”
3 Godly Appearances
Later, I noticed the sentence “Bleeding god's body, falling into hell instantly” in Section 13.1.1, Hell Interest, and the sentence "If there is a change in the Big Seeds, everything created according to them changes with it" in Section 11.2, Four Big Seeds then, I analyzed out the truth of the previous two cases. Let’s start here with God’s appearance.
In the process of dealing with objective things, human brain always simplifies the objective objects autonomously, and extracts all kinds of default models, such as woman, man, butterfly, trees, and so on. The default models are then used to recognize other individuals of the same kind. For example, when we see an individual woman, we might describe her as having big eyes, a high nose beam, tall, and a bit thin. These descriptions are the characteristics that human brain picks up by comparing the objective person with the default woman model in its own thinking mechanism, to recognize the objective individual woman, or even all women.
In this case, the default woman model is the definition of woman, i.e., Goddess. Human brain creates other women through adding traits to the default woman model, and so on, all individual women are derived from Goddess, which is saying Goddess is the seed of woman, give birth to other women. Similarly, we can conclude that the male god is the seed of the man, which can give birth to all similar men; the snake god is the seed of snake, which can give rise to other snakes; tree god is the seed of tree, which can generate many trees, and so on.
In real life there are people who look like God and goddesses, and they are possible to have a nature like that of a god and goddess. What does God look like? Modern psychology describes this kind of person as “someone who can hide in a crowd”, for example, he looks like this, and you don't know him well. He runs in front of you, and you chase after him. There are a few people on the side of the road, he turns around and stands in the middle of them, then you can not find him.
The preceding passage shows that God's appearance, without features, is memoryless. You see him, know that he is a man, and that there is some familiarity about him; but after you leave him, you soon cannot remember what he looks like.
Buddhist scriptures describe goddess like this: neither tall nor short, neither fat nor thin, neither black nor white, eyes neither big nor small, nose bridge neither high nor low, body temperature warm in winter and cool in summer, doesn’t laugh doesn’t speak, laughs first before she wants to speak. When a guest comes to her home, she greets at front, enters house behind; after entering the house, sits down the last and stands up the first.
Why does goddess always laugh!? Author me believes that a happy or joyful Eve is a goddess, and a sad or weeping Eve is a misfortune. In addition, the appearances of goddesses may vary according to ethnicities, regions, and historical periods. Readers can imagine that the appearance of Chinese goddesses would be different from that of Arabian goddesses.
4 Analysis of Cases I and II
In Case I, the man with bleeding face had appearance of God, and he had blood flowing from his face. Based on the statement in Section 11.2, "The Four Great Seeds", "If there is a change in the Great Seeds, everything that is created accordingly to changes with them", Man A， saw that，therefore many men in his mind mechanism had blood on their faces, and it caused a nervous disorder. Uncle Dragon said, “The cure is to respectfully go to that dead man's funerals”, how can this be a cure for a psychosis? Unconscious, ancient as God-sense, is an autonomous nervous system; when it sees the man with the bleeding face again, by then it is already a grave, it will autonomously update the image of the old man, so that the “seed of the man” (default model of man) is automatically rectified, so the mental disorder is cured.
In Case II, author me think, my second brother suffered from the same disease as Case I, and the treatment was the same. At that time, when my brother saw the old man's corpse who had already lost his shape, which altered the “man seed” （i.e., default man model） in my brother's mind mechanism, therefore he fell into mental disorder.
5 The Cause of My Illness
The cause of my mental illness is fighting with Goddess Eve Liu. I recalled my first meeting with Eve Liu (see Section 7.3, "Blind Date"); the influence of the goddess Liu Jianjun was so powerful! As soon as we met, I encountered many accidents, my body and mind went through a series of extremely strong and swift changes emotionally. After ten minutes I was stimulated to injury and illness. Subsequently, the two of us do not get along harmoniously, I am constantly being angry with her, once also said she cried. Crying Eve is Misfortune, so I encountered a Misfortune there. Once for a while, Troupe Leader Liu would instruct someone to talk to me again about Eve Liu, setting up my relationship with her as antagonistic, causing my latent psychosis to develop rapidly, with signs of an attack a year later (see Section 8.7, "The Man Who Initiating Stories").
Posted Aug 27, 2024, 5:20 PM UTC