I believe my life is ruined

I can't talk to people and I envy literally all my peers and their abilities to communicate in some way. My eq is really low according to my therapist and I believe that is the reason I find it difficult to form any close connections with any people.

I never had any goals as well. It feels like I don't need to but my life feels strange and abstract because of it.

When I have a close person, I instantly become attached and dependent. This obviously spoils and eventually ruins the relationship.

This may seem random, but I have also completely lost my memory, which makes it difficult for me not only to speak coherently, but also to talk about my problems, like now, for example. Even now I understand that this text looks choppy and difficult to understand.

I try to devalue my fears by writing it off as some normal 20-year-old crisis, but this only makes me more confused.