I currently self type as a 946(137) so/sp isfj but not certain if i’ve typed myself correctly

I’m going to describe how i internally feel vs how i externally act

i have a need for INTENSITY, variety, depth, i want to have intense experiences, emotions, to go on adventures with friends, i fucking HATE to be limited, for example if want to create an anime i must do everything myself because if i hire other people there runs the risk of my vision not being executed exactly the way i want it to be, it is no longer purely an expression of myself, and they may be unwilling to help me make it thus limiting me

i want to experience as much as possible in life

when I’m in pain i often dwell in it, and feel the need for others to know of it, and if i feel hurt by someone i can become fixated on ensuring they feel greater suffering than i have

i can also obsess over things in general, like if i am tryna figure out something i can stay up all night tryna figure it out, i am diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, autism, adhd, and gender dysphoria

i feel uncomfortable in my body and as such lack the confidence to express myself, so i am dissociated, withdrawn, unassertive, shy, etc

I want to be someone who is assertive, confident, outgoing, energetic, a ball of chaotic energy, someone that escalates in the face of confrontation and doesn’t back down from a challenge but overcomes it through sheer willpower, someone constantly creating and differentiating themselves, who does what they want with little superego, someone that loves intense experiences and emotions and variety and depth and adventure, someone who wants to satisfy a lust for life, who wants to see others grow by toughening them up, someone that acts on impulse and gives no fucks how they are perceived, if for example someone where to say “you’re a bad person for insert thing here that harms literally no one” they’d respond with “fuck yeah i’m bad, say it again, tell me how bad of a motherfucker i am, I’m bad, I’m a criminal, and if you don’t like it, too bad bitch, you’re living in my world”

i don’t only want to be like that but truly believe that deep down inside that is the real me, I have an INTENSE emotional conviction that that is what i am TRULY like and that when i transition i will become like that, logically i know i may be wrong, but emotionally i am certain of who i am and anything that does not align with my vision of myself is to be disregarded as inauthentic

so the fact that i am shy, withdrawn, unassertive, dissociating, lack confidence, give up easily, etc is the opposite of who i believe myself to truly be and i fucking hate that

i currently identify the root cause of my routine behavior as fear of missing out, as in i do the same things over and over because if i do new things i fear i’ll miss out on my comforts

i have difficulty sticking to one thing, recently i got the idea to start a group where like I’m worshipped as a god, and dating me is a privilege, and the group would be 100% consensual, can leave any time you want

it seems like it’d be fun, again i often change my mind on a whim

i often have a need for certainty and feel the need to correct others when they are wrong about something and can often ask “are you allowed to do that?” “is that safe” etc

so i consider myself a 9 because i am routine, stick to my comforts, don’t express my negative emotions openly in person, only through text, dissociating, withdrawn, unassertive, give up easily

some of those reasons i also consider to be me having a 4 fix along with the fact i dwell on my suffering and have a need for others to feel it, feel a constant need to differentiate myself, when in low health i can become manipulative in a “help others so they become emotionally attached to me” kind of way, etc

and i consider myself a 6 fix because of my strong sense of justice and my security consciousness

so what do you think my typing is?