IM FREAKING OUT OVER HERE

I know this subreddit doesn't always enjoy people coming on here to wonder if they're romantic or not but i really need some help because IM FREAKING OUT.

I recently apologized to this person for offering them my number and not reaching out. Social anxiety made me wonder if I would be rejected ( platonically) and so, for 1-2 months, I sent only one text and it was a short one. They didn't really text either but that's because we barely knew each other.

Back to the point, I apologized for not reaching out and promised to be better about it and they said they would too. I told them I liked their outfit, their hair, and that they looked cool.

This person is honestly really sweet and by this point, I thought I was going down the path of a platonic friendship. But it wasn't, it felt queer.

I was so excited to see this person, I would occasionally stare at them but not for too long. I was saddened when I mistakenly assumed they were dating someone. And the BIGGEST thing that stood out to me was how I couldn't sleep last night because I kept thinking about them and imaginging scenarios where we'd get to hang out.

Now this seemed queer platonic but this morning, I had a nervous feeling in my chest like I couldn't wait for them to text back. I wanted to see them and be close to them and I started wondering if they saw me the same way. I wanted to be seen the same way. I thought about dating them, just to matter to them more and feel closer.

But just like last night, I almost couldn't distract myself. I drew a little to get my mind off but this person feels different to me. It's like, my love for them is tangible and I don't intentionally want to date them and I'd be fine being super close friends but my love for them is leaving me wanting something.

I've had a queer platonic love for someone in the past and I also experienced the same joy but this feels more intense? Maybe it's because I can name this feeling now. But I'd still be unsatisfied just being regular friends. What is this?