[2356] Platinum Strands

Hi all, This is chapter 28 of the novel I've been working on. For some context, my main character is a teenage drug dealer who finds himself babysitting for a client in this chapter. This chapter is basically a way to put him back in touch with Becca, who he knew while working for another dealer. They both have connections to someone else who went missing. Also, this is set in 2004, so if things like names, hairstyles, etc seem dated, that's why.

Anyway, I know it's not perfect. All Feedback is welcome. Thanks in advance.

My work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/18p_uVALC1RJvNZKqEpx4e12Fiobj6LkhuMAO6Dp-obA/edit?usp=sharing

Critiques: https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1iffryr/2827_rust_in_the_veins/mby7y7b/

https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1ikt3vk/620_the_paperweight/mc2z6v8/