[2013] Going Home

I've been toying with this story for a long time, writing drafts from both the third and first person point of view.

[[2013]] Going Home(https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M8p0h1xzxQax9wa2y6gVmWbD0pwcIFjAeHHrWxGO3qg/edit?usp=sharing)

This is my latest effort and, generally, I like how it reads so far. I tend to default to third person, so this had been an interesting experiment. I am curious to see what works and what is falling short.

Context:

The story follow Luke Young, a 22 year old who has just been released on parole. Four years earlier, Luke had a very different life.

The book starts on Luke's first day out. We follow Luke as he grapples with guilt over his actions, sadness for the life he gave up, and the day-to-day reality of being on parole.

Notes

• Luke's backstory and the reason he went to prison will be revealed as the book goes on. If anyone is truly curious, I can give you more info on the back story in the comments.
• Callie will be an important character in the book. I want her first meeting with Luke to seem relatively mundane from her POV, aside from the fact they had a flirty exchange.
• It's important for the dad to come off as distant and cold, but I am wondering if I overdid it.
• I also worry that the mom feels one dimensional. Part of the reason I wrote her as I did is that, some of the cheeriness is indeed forced. She truly is excited and relieved he is out, but the uncertainty is weighing as much on her as it does the others.

Critiques

[1742] No Help From the Wizard [2827] Rust in the Veins