I’m so lost. I need a pep talk

Sorry for another mental health post on this sub, but i really need some advice.

I got into making music via ableton, and i’ve been using it for 13 years. I can’t believe how long it’s been because i haven’t finished and released a song i’m genuinely proud of in almost 6 years.

My workflow sucks, i don’t use any templates because I feel like i don’t want to be put in a genre… i really love hip hop and rock music, but i can’t seem to make a single song in either of those genres. i hate my sample packs, i am frugal as hell with plugins, but i own a Push 3 and a SP404 MK2.

I work a full time job and I have other hobbies and interests, but i never want to quit making music. I just hate that after all these years I haven’t even come close to making music that represents me in a respectable way.

I’m asking for advice because i’m such an outsider: i don’t hang around musicians… I really wish i did but my career and life path did not pan out that way. I don’t want fame, i don’t want a career in music, i just want my music to represent me and for it to touch other humans. I know i’m the only one that can make that happen, but what am i missing? The ball is not rolling fast enough, i’m not seeing the progress.