How immature can 40 year olds be

i’m 19 F. I go to college full time, I work two jobs and i still like with my mom and step dad. My dad died when I was 16, he overdosed on fet. I was in the room with him when it happened. I was the only one in the room when it happened. By the time i called for help and people rushed in my dad was gone. I was scared. But instead of being comforted and told it was gonna be okay I was asked why i wasn’t comforting my brother. That sums up my life. I feel like i’m only cared for when i can be useful. I hate it, It hurts so so much. I’ve been trying so hard to improve myself, i focus on the positives. I try to help whoever needs it, I don’t let myself cry infront of anyone nor do i confide in anyone. so now i have to do it on reddit because i think ima go insane. I’ve moved 6 times in the past 2 years. Once my mom got with my step dad we moved, then i moved out into a camper, (had to move spots a few times because the places we’re dangerous) then i moved into a trailer. Then i switched trailers because the og one was rotting and then my mom borrowed a bunch of money from me so I gave it to her, never got it back, threw me in such a bad finical spot i moved back in with them. they were pissy about it even tho it was their fault. (never got that money back btw) then they pissed off our landlord and we had to move again. But the house is only 3 bedrooms, i have two siblings, they told me i was getting the garage, okay, fine whatever, the “garage” is a worn down shed that doesn’t have proper insulation. It’s so cold in here, the floor is concrete and freezing at all times, there’s a hole in one of the windows and the garage door has a lot of light coming through the cracks. There’s spiders and bugs. There’s no electricity so i’m just running extension cords and i just feel so unloved. So so uncared for, any time i ask for help to insulate it better i get hit with “we’re trying our best stop complaining” or “i guess im just a horrible mom” i can’t stand it. I’m legitimately hurt. I feel like they don’t care. the land lord came over and they rushed me into the house. turns out he doesn’t know i’m living in it because he would tell them i can’t stay in it. anytime i bring it up they get defensive and call me in greatful. i’m shivering as im typing this, it was snowing earlier. My mom said she’d take care of moving the rest of my stuff from the old landlords house but they forgot so much, my nintendo switch, some other things but most importantly my blanket. it was specially made with my dads shirts and its been such a huge comfort item for me. and no i can’t just go and get it back because my step dad poured oil and piss all over the house as a way to get back at the landlord (in his defense the landlord threatened to kill me and my siblings and would come into the house and dig through our stuff a lot) but still. now that blankets gone. and i’m scared, and i just want someone to care. I can’t cry to them or i’ll be called sensitive or they’ll make fun of me and say im unstable and mean. I’m not mean, i’m really not, please i just want them to care, it hurts seeing them drop everything for my brothers while i get sent out to a (sorta) garage to live in. it’s not attacked to the house and the outside is crumbling. It just hurts so so bad, i’ve listened to them rant, ive helped them work through things, ive given the thousands. and in return i get slapped in the face.