Not afraid to die anymore, I’m excited for it

Nobody gives a single fuck about me I swear to God. I stumbled upon a Reddit post of death experiences, and a user quoted it as the ultimate peace. The most blissful experience. And that is what I want. I do not want to be stuck with the same thoughts repeating over and over in my fucking head. What’s wrong with me? Why am I not enough? What did I do wrong? I do not want to have to stress about my life anymore, money, love, etc. I tried. I gave it my best shot and failed. Got back up and tried again. Failed. Fail fail fail. FAILLLLLLL I’m a failure. I’m a loser. I am excited to die. So I’m ready to speed up the process. 7 months of sobriety all for nothing. Ready to throw it all away. GG