Jealous of people with other forms of PTSD

I'm a therapist and I work with people who have "typical" PTSD, resulting from things such as car accidents, traumatic losses, etc, and there is a small part of me that is jealous of these people (good ole countertransference but I thankfully don't let it affect my work). What do you mean every aspect of your life isn't permanently altered because of the severe ongoing childhood trauma you experienced? What do you mean it is "easier" to treat your trauma because of the nature of it compared to mine? This isn't to compare traumas-- I hope I don't come across this way!!!-- and of course it's not as simple as this, but today I am grieving the life I could be having if I wasn't abused. I am feeling the complexity and the disruptive, interpersonal, nature of it all. I am feeling the lack of resources for what I've gone through because it's not formally recognized as a diagnosis. I am feeling the lack of impact of dozens of medications and therapy modalities I've experienced. Nothing seems to help and I'm tired. I cry every day before work. Relationships of all kinds are difficult because of the attachment wounds, hypervigilence, lack of trust in others, mood shifts from emotional flashbacks occurring randomly. I can barely bring myself to shower more than once a week. My apartment is a mess. I can't sleep. When I do sleep, it's me waking up every half hour and me having nightmares. I'm in my house 95% of the week. Blah blah. You get it. This is just a vent because nobody else gets it. Thank you for reading this far.