Why we fear healing...

DR. Antonia Contreras explains why we resist letting go of the pain and healing:

One simple explanation is that change itself produces anxiety. What’s familiar—even if it’s painful—can feel safer than venturing into the unknown. And because trauma is largely fueled by fear, it’s no surprise that you may be afraid to lose the patterns or coping mechanisms you’ve relied on, even if they’re rooted in trauma.

Another reason people hesitate to engage with a healing journey is tied to identity. If you’ve come to see your trauma or your traumatic responses (like a short fuse or the role of “victim”) as part of who you are, letting go can feel like losing a piece of yourself. In reality, in case you want to know, healing doesn’t erase your personality. Healing means your system will react differently instead of being at the mercy of how your system decides what to do to eliminate a supposed threat that is actually not there. Your reactions may have become part of your personality but without your participation. Once you heal, you can decide to react similarly, if that makes you feel safer. Up to you and not without you.

If you can learn to manage fear or avoidance, you’ll take a major step toward healing. As you continue, you gain confidence and start feeling more alive. Moving beyond fear means leaving behind survival mode and entering a space where you can truly live. Go for it!!