[349] Things he told me

Hi RDR,

I'm trying to get back into flash fiction practice - below is from a prompt about generating an emotional response in the reader. Keen for any and all feedback.

Crit [625]

Things he told me

He said that Nietzsche said that people are just trying to express their power so that’s why those girls are so mean. And that they aren’t my real friends anyway, so I don’t need to worry about their petulance or their mean-spirited jabs. And that those girls are so disrespectful to their partners who are just trying to get by and go to these stupid parties with them to make them happy but it doesn’t sound like they’re happy, it sounds like they hate their lives and their boyfriends and fiancés and husbands and I mean geez don’t take this the wrong way but some of those chicks need to get a baby into them. The single ones especially – I mean there’s nowhere for their love to go and it just sours and makes them miserable, y’know?

I guess he’s got a point; ever since we had the baby, I feel like I’ve found my purpose and redefined my direction and it’s manifesting in me. He said he can see it in my face and the way I hold myself I’m happier now. Even when I’m exhausted and my skin is crawling and the rage is writhing in the base of my skull. He said it’s so natural and so obviously what I need. Some women forget and fight against it – remember how your psoriasis went away when you were pregnant? God the way you used to tear at your skin, like something rabid. You can’t argue with that biologically. That’s why those girls are getting so fat and catty. Aren’t you glad you’ve got it all worked out?

And I’ve tried all the breathing exercises you showed me but as soon as I’m done I remember all the jobs undone and the lessons untaught and the meals uncooked and the nappies unchanged and the shit unwiped and the screams unabsorbed and the tantrums undiffused and the smiles unsmiled and dicks unsucked and there’s too much and I try to remember what I had before but there’s no one there. It’s like trying to picture before you were born.