Update: I posted a couple months back about my husband admitting to cheating earlier on in our relationship, and top comment said he's likely been cheating the whole time, and he was right!

My previous post

Since my previous post, we've been to couples counselling a couple times, we've been talking more, and I've been pushing him for more details. This weekend I took the kid to my parents and stayed there a couple nights. The details were never enough, and never matched my suspicions.

I saw him today. He finally cracked and answered all my questions. Cheating started early on in the relationship and was fairly regular throughout. He says sometimes as frequent as every week, or as infrequent as once a month. And even when we were open (by his request), and our rules were to always communicate and get approval from the other, he was still meeting up with guys secretly on the side.

So much lying and sneaking. He watched as I would bring up that our sex life had become less frequent (down to about once every 2 weeks), watched me ask how we could improve our sex life. Tell me that our sex life was normal, and he found it satisfying. All because he was getting what he wanted on the side.

Like I suspected, he would have quick hookups, scheduling them so they are right after work en route home, or after a soccer game or something.

So much for "only doing it once and feeling guilty after". Lying to me right up until today (that is, if he's not lying now. But it finally feels truthful).

Back in December last year, I figured out he had a hookup, breaking the communication rule. It left me unsettled. He could have asked me. So I confronted him about it. Which led me to believe it wasn't the first time he did that during our open relationship, and later on when he confessed to cheating once, it casted more doubt on that being true.

He says he has been honest with me this year. Is that true? I'd like to believe it. But also, does it matter? I'm tired and going to bed.