Resources/advice for deconstruction?

Hey everyone, I’ve been making posts in here because I finally feel like I’ve found a group of like-minded people, and I can’t even express how much of a relief it has been.

I was only a Christian for two(?) years, and although I won’t say I have religious trauma, I definitely felt the impact and realize the toxicity looking back, how it changed who I truly am as a person, the way I viewed people/laws. I’m horrified. It turned me into someone I’m not. I could make another post about what ultimately broke me down to leave Christianity, it was a horrible experience (the experience itself was traumatic, I will say that).

I feel sorry for those of you born and raised into this who have left the religion, and the trauma it has created for you.

I want to know if there’s any good resources out there for leaving Christianity. I have watched some videos on YouTube, but I guess I am overwhelmed and need some help. I’m not trying to “not do my own work/research”, I am new to this, overwhelmed, sad, i guess I am seeking support since I only had made Christian friends, my family is back home in California, and as per my other posts, I don’t even know if I have a husband anymore. I mean I’m sure you all know how it feels when you realize what you believed in so hard, is not what it really is lol.

Are there any books that have helped you? Any content creators? Videos? Any advice/kind words would help.

This journey has been exhausting and pretty lonely. This subreddit is what is keeping me sane. Please share anything. Thank you in advance