Dating / talking to someone with a disorganized attachment style has left me quite confused, I'm looking for some perspectives from your point of view! (long post).

A few months ago I gave my number to a girl I met out on a camping trip, she was working in an interesting little science gig, I was on a holiday with some friends, but also a science person myself (psychology and neuroscience, post grad). Anyway, we ended up speaking A LOT, we sort of matched each others predilection for typing essays. She was very sweet and thoughtful, relatively open but also not afraid of telling me her boundaries and whats on her mind, which I appreciate. Spoke for a couple of weeks, got to know each other quite well, both very similar people, and then the topic of going on a date came up, we were both very interested, so we set a date for about two weeks later (sort of long distance, scheduling is a bit hard). Kept talking a ton.

About two days before our date she opened up a bit. She said she doesn't open up much, but felt comfortable sharing with me, and said she had been sexually assaulted by her dad growing up, and had another unspecified experience with sexual assault later on. She then said she was sorry for sharing and hoped I didn't feel different about her. Which I didn't, and told her as much. She'd shared a lot at this point, and it sounded like she really had quite the large dose of shit life syndrome, I mean at every point in life it seems she'd be let down by someone or something unfairly. When we went on our date I actually had asked her if people had pushed her away for sharing or changed how they treated her, and she said yes, which I thought was incredibly cruel, I decided if there was mutual interest I'd make a little extra effort to let her know I was thinking of her and enjoyed our conversations!

The date comes around, it was a long drive for me, and I ended up booking a motel nearby so I could spend a day. We had organized the zoo, and potentially the museum afterwards, but she ended up getting quite sick on the morning of but insisted we still go the zoo. Which we did. I think we were both a bit anxious initially, but it ended up a very nice morning never the less. She invited me back to her place as she wasn't up for the museum, and we watched a movie, played some video games and just talked, cuddled a little too. It was very sweet, she offered to let me stay as it got late, we didn't have sex or anything like that, but I did stay the night on a spare mattress only after first insisting she was absolutely comfortable with that. Then spent the next day there as well, just relaxing and talking, she wanted me to stay, so I did.

I leave, drive back to my place. On the way back she texts me saying she enjoyed our date and was very glad I came. I asked her if she'd like to go another date at some point? She replied very enthusiastically that she'd really like that, but just wasn't quite sure when. So I just left it in her bucket to let me know when works for her.

Kept talking for a few weeks, spoke a little about dating, talked about relationships, pacing (both prefer slow), she seemed quite keen still and told me she was interested in me. We'd been talking for nearly two months at this point, and as I say, talking a lot, like enough that I'd consider her a very good friend even if the whole dating thing didn't work out. Anyway she ended up getting a little more cagey in our conversations after a while, don't quite know how to put it, but not as open as she was (I don't pry or pressure, just let people speak what they feel comfortable sharing) and a little withdrawn. So I just asked what was up and if there was anything I could do (or do less of) to help. She said she'd been really stressed with uni and work, not sleeping well, and she was a bit conflicted on dating. She ended up opening up a bunch over the coming days about her last relationship, that sounded really bad and I heavily got the impression that the other instance of sexual assault occurred there. She said she'd been getting help with a psychologist starting this year for it all and hadn't really dated since. Something that really struck me was she essentially said word for word "My heart and mind are divided, my mind says relationships are a horrible, bad thing, but my heart wants one, especially when I look at how cute the relationships of my friends and others around me are". And a core theme of her last relationship was essentially that the other person turned into someone they weren't, the mask slipped so to speak, and a lot of her distrust from relationships spawned from not being able to trust the other person is presenting an authentic version of themselves, and worried that the other person was going to be an energy vampire so to speak and not match what she gives.

Anyway, I essentially asked her if given everything she's said that another date is something she'd like, and gave her an out, I said its perfectly fine if you don't want one either, we can keep talking as friends, or just move on too. She insisted she'd still like another, just might need some time before another date and insisted she was still interested in me. I said that's more than okay, take whatever time you need.

Kept talking, but she seemed more withdrawn. She continued sharing a bit about where her mind was at. she thought she'd been a bit of a pushover before, would give a lot and not receive, and she said she'd been making a lot of effort to sort of develop more authority for herself, very insistent she didn't let people get in her way anymore and was very staunch about trying to remain relatively emotionally independent, not lean on others too much. At this point though I do think I picked her as disorganized, really seemed divided on relationships and trusting other people, but simultaneously had a strong craving for it, and retreated a lot into her own space or other avenues of her life (such as her professional life). Which was fine in my eyes, something I'm willing to work with for the right person! I'm pretty secure in my approach to relationships, I'd say secure with some anxious traits.

Three month mark rolls around. Still texting essays to each other, not as frequent and I was really just matching her pace, plus sending the occasional note of positivity (like a picture of my dog being a goofball) as she said she'd been really burnt out, and exhausted due to uni and some family problems, but also a bit angry over reliving some of the memories form her past relationship. Then randomly, I get a message from an unknown number saying "You need to learn to respect boundaries" and realize I've been blocked. Last messages I sent to her was asking if I could get something small and thoughtful for her birthday, a picture of a lake that I stopped at which was supposed to be pink due to bacteria, and me (in a very convoluted manner) telling her that what she told me in her previous messages made me sad and that I wanted to give her a hug, while also expressing I was a bit baffled by how she was describing other people had acted towards her.

Look, I thought from my conversations with her that I had made a good friend at least. Super similar people and we had a really good rapport in conversation, and we'd shared a ton about each other. I pride myself on being pretty open, communicative and reciprocal, I do not pry or push boundaries, I like to make sure others are comfortable and I know where their mind is at, so I was a bit shocked, and still don't really know what I did wrong. Would anyone here be able to weigh in or where I might of gone wrong? My only real guess at the moment was that sending some support, positivity and affirmation her way may have tripped that need to remain emotionally independent or a feeling that I might have been pressuring her to reciprocate when she wasn't comfortable doing so.