[944] Reworking Prologue into first chapter for literary fiction novel

First of all, I want to thank everyone who read and critiqued my Prologue. The perspectives of people who have no idea who my characters are really help me showcase them better. Okay, here's my first attempt at working the previous fragment posted here into a full chapter. This is the first half of it. I've tried to bring out more of the narrator's voice from the get go, and I'm taking my time hitting the beats I need as setup for the next chapter and the rest of the story. You can tell me if you think it functions better as an opening if you've critiqued the previous fragment, but you don't really need to have read it to understand what's happening here, so fresh eyes are welcome. This is not a sequel, it's a remake.

The character, Jonathan, is a Hollywood director in his 30s, currently in rehab following an OxyContin overdose.

I'd mainly like to know:

• Is the style/tone appropriate, engaging to read?
• Is this interesting?
• Do you get a sense of who this character might be?

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Crits: 1496 753