don’t like physical affection from my family

since i was around 10 i’ve slowly stopped being affectionate with my family. as a young child i was always fine to hug my parents and accept their touches etc. however as ive gotten older ive started to really hate it when my parents hug me or try to initiate any physical contact. it used to just be hugs and kisses but not even the slightest brushing past each other makes me physically recoil in disgust. i don’t understand why this happens to me, because i am fine to hug and touch my friends, other relatives and even strangers, but u simply HATE touch from my family.

my parents have always been very accepting and gentle, never tried to hit me or anything abusive. emotionally, my parents have always been there for me, however i’m a very closed off person and don’t tend to share my feelings so i never really have emotional conversations with my parents. sometimes i share things but i usually have intense feelings of regret after sharing but i’m not sure why.

most posts i have seen say that it might be linked to traumatic memories that make me uncomfortable to be touched my family. however my younger brother is completely fine to hug my parents and have casual touch with them. with my brother, usually i’m fine to maybe give him a fist bump but other than that i really don’t like it when he touches me.

i really just have no idea why this is happening, but it is getting worse as i get older, as now i avoid getting physically close my parents to prevent them accidentally touching me. sometimes when my hands brush with my parents i feel the need to wash my hands excessively or even take a shower, however in public i might bump hands with strangers or touch public surfaces but have no issue going about my day after that.

does anyone know why this is happening to me 😭