I married into this

I have a mother with either borderline or narcissism or possibly even both, honestly. We’re no contact after repeated years of me attempting to enforce boundaries with her.

Apparently now my mother in law is the same.

The constant guilt and victim behavior. The attempts at control. The framing everything as urgent and an emergency. The using that God will punish us (we’re not even religious) for disobeying. The hinting at needing $$$ and not wanting to work anymore.

All while this person has a paid off home and a brand new vehicle — clearly doing better than us financially as we rent.

This person has been an issue since we got married. The behavior is excused under I’m your mother and families have to be there for one another. And language like that just how I am.

We’d been no contact with her for months after an incident. He went behind my back and fixed her AC unit for free. I told him I felt betrayed and he lied to me bc he didn’t tell me.

The favors are constant and one sided so I set the boundary of no favors and no money exchanged going forward.

He now claims he’s done with her. I see it all as a waste of time bc I’ve participated in these negotiations with a terrorist with my own mother for years. I wouldn’t have married into this had I known but was genuinely deceived as I’d known him for 10 years prior and she was pleasant.

I now don’t know what to even do with him other than I do not want to deal with this or live like this.