[QCrit] Upmarket, The Revision Time, 80k, 4th attempt

Back again with take 4. Thanks for helpful feedback all

First Q feeback: What is the heart of the story/how character change? Not enough details

2/3rd Q feedback: How do characters relate to each other? Too dense/too much detail, what does book tackle?

I tried to take these helpful thoughts and address below - making it more clear that it is a lead character's story, and show her opportunity to change. It's more of an emotional change versus solving a murder change.

Thank you all! Really appreciate it.

NEW VERSION:

Dear Agent TBA:

Sabine fancies herself a great mom, wife, and friend to her two oldest pals from postgrad days, Paris and Alicia. She’s not living the artsy life she once envisioned, but she’s fine letting others, like her husband, call the shots. Even at her television AD job, her most valued skill is adjusting to other people’s crazy whims.

But when her husband cheats, Sabine finds that her measured approach doesn’t cut it. Sabine the rock starts to crumble, turning to too much booze and a too-quick romance with a hot paramedic. When she reaches out to her two longtime friends, she learns that they’re struggling too. 

Normally in control Paris is suddenly dealing with a very ill mom while juggling work and kids, putting a strain on her marriage. Meanwhile, Alicia’s fun-guy husband is upset about his lengthy unemployment, making him angry, and she’s baffled at how to respond.

Sabine makes weak offers of support to them but finds excuses not to provide any. Turns out their fun and nostalgic friendship isn’t so fun when times are hard. But seeing her good friends continue to struggle gives Sabine an opportunity to step up and help them, and in doing so help herself become the person she always imagined.

THE REVISION TIME is an 80k-word upmarket fiction manuscript told in intertwining storylines and narrated with humor by lead character Sabine. It’s Lian Dolan’s The Sweeney Sisters meets The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants meets the recent middle-aged friendship storyline of The White Lotus.

My book of comic essays, Is That The Shirt You’re Wearing? (Tidal Press) was a semifinalist for the 2018 Thurber Prize for Humor. My columns have appeared in The Washington Post, The Sun, and Working Mother Magazine, among others*.* I have a master's degree in writing and work in the television industry.

LAST VERSION:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/1lq9ehm/qcrit_upmarket_the_revision_time_80k_3rd_attempt/