[2513] Opening chapter of sci-fi comedy | “Flem”

When a loner is accidentally abducted by an alien just before the most important job interview of his life and discovers that humans are being farmed for their mucus, he must free them and find a way back to Earth in time to get hired.

This is the first 2513 words of my completed 72k manuscript. I’m aiming for something a little less absurd than its obvious inspiration, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

I want to know what is weak. What is funny? Does it have you interesting in reading more?

This is intended as commercial fiction and I’m trying to write simple, easy to understand prose. That said, feel free to rip apart my prose if that is your strength.

I’m hoping to polish this first part with your help and carry any lessons into the rest of the novel on subsequent editing rounds.

Content Warnings: Adult language (S-word, F-bomb) and some talk about adult media (P*rn)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZeKoYGqjUAQayTFSWmWG4vJh7pxqbG9H_wdXxtj2Hf4/edit?usp=sharing

(or the “published” version for better privacy)

Crits: 430 + 2366

Thanks in advance for all the fish feedback.