One of the worst hangovers yet

Last night i broke my nearly two months of sobriety by drinking an entire bottle of gin by myself. even though im on medication that lowers my alcohol tolerance and i hadn’t eaten that day, or the day before i don’t think. i can’t remember. it was extremely stupid but i do not feel a binge coming on so that’s good.

I forgot how horrible hangovers were. i woke up at about 5am after having passed out mid afternoon or evening sort of time, i could barely stand up until about 11am, everytime i stood up i felt extremely nauseous, i couldn’t go back to sleep because i had the worst headache of my whole life. i could feel my eyes in my skull. I went downstairs to get more water and my brother saw me. He tried talking to me but i had to run away to throw up halfway through the conversation.

I just told him i was feeling sick. i didnt manage to eat anything until about 3. my thoughts have been super incoherent, im having trouble forming sentences, my short term memory is completely gone. i’m so nauseous. i can feel my tongue in my mouth and it tastes bad no matter how many times i brush my teeth. i remember sitting in front of the toilet bowl, spit dripping down into it. i remember how my tears felt against my eyelashes, how i felt too sick to sit up but had to so i could vomit in the toilet. my brother behind me asking if i was okay. i had things i was meant to do today that i couldn’t do. i didn’t miss this. i don’t know how i used to do this everyday.

i’ve felt nauseous for the entire day. my heads killing me. my skin is clear for some reason, my hair feels greasy, i feel like i stink, the back of my throat burns from vomiting, i’m hungry with no appetite, this was all so stupid. i’m so stupid. waaah😭😭 i keep doing this to myself. again and again. and again. then again. and again. same thing every time. stupid so so stupid.