Scan Day

Today is my 1 year scan post treatment and I’m a little nervous. I was doing pretty good trying not to think about it but last week a good friend, who was diagnosed around the same time as me, passed away from his cancer. He had a different cancer, but it still puts that doubt and some fear back into you like when you started treatments. His wife and kids face the reality I feared my wife and kids could have faced. It had me feeling guilty that he didn’t beat his but I did. It also had me extremely sad for his family and thinking how this could have been my family. I pray for each of you during and after your treatments. I know it’s hard to be positive all the time but keep up the fight. It’s hard to talk about this with someone who has not experienced it. They see you and think you are doing great but inside you know how your body has changed and simple things like eating and drinking are not the same. The stiffness and pain you have from the neck dissection surgery that is your new normal. You just can’t explain that to people who say, you did great and you look good, but you struggle each day in silence.