AITA for causing an argument with my father?

Here is what happened:

(This was in April 2025) For my mom's 70th we surprised her with a family trip. Her only was to get dressed up and watch the Kentucky Derby somewhere. So we were waiting in line to the viewing party and my dad made a joke about a shooting that took place in their neighborhood earlier this year (no one was hurt, it ended up being two teen boys in an argument) he said "and to make it more scary, one was a black man" so I called him out on being racist. I initially said "I don't think I get the joke" (because he was saying it in a joking manner and everyone laughed). I eventually just told him that was a very racist remark and I didn't find it funny. Fast forward maybe 10 minutes our group is seated at the table. Each table got two Kentucky derby hats - one fedora and one more feminine headband with flowers on it - my 7 year old nephew wanted a hat to wear so I handed him the fedora. He said he wanted the flower one, so I went to hand it to him and my dad (his grandpa) said "no! that's for girls and you aren't a girl!" His mom said to my dad "it's okay, he can wear it, he isn't hurting anyone." They went back and forth for a bit and then she looked at me to give him the hat so I did. My nephew was a little hurt/confused so I said to him "if anyone is uncomfortable with you wearing this, that's a them issue not a you issue." and my dad (sitting across from me) yelled "IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE" so I replied "I have a great therapist I can recommend then." That set him off and he yelled "IM FUCKING SICK OF YOU, I'M LEAVING IN 2 SECONDS" to which I counted him down from 2 and he was still there.

We haven't spoken even to today. I reached out 3 times to try to make amends or at least hear his perspective (I had no intention of apologizing) and he just asked is we could fake it through my sister's wedding but that's the extent to our communication.