6 months unemployed

I’m 24 and man it’s really starting to feel like I’m not cut out for life. I can’t do it anymore. I’d rather die than live a long sad life. I’m hungry most days alone everyday. I’m brown skinned guy but I’ve turned pale from being inside. Sorry guys but I don’t think I can take this anymore. Working hard and being used just to end up alone and fucked up in the end. I have bpd and depression, adhd. Nobody noticed these things about me and I get lots of positive things said about me but in the end I always lose jobs and I’m just tired of fighting this battle. I don’t have the motivation. I feel like dying would be the best for me. Not like anyone cared when I was here. The sadness never ends. Since I was about 11 I’ve just had so much depression.