I had a “good breakup” and I wish I hadn’t.

I ended a relationship about a month ago. We wanted different things but the way that incompatibility was established was through a huge betrayal of my trust and my boundaries that i didn’t considered honest or ethical at all. The way it happened was hurtful, unkind and disrespectful and honestly just shitty behavior, so much so that I actually considered just ghosting him. I decided that wasn’t good by me and the way he’d been up until that point deserved better so we met up, I told him how much he’d hurt me, he apologized (poorly), asked to give it a shot, I said no and we broke up.

We didn’t say goodbye from a place of anger and honestly it was very caring, grateful and loving. The anger came a few days later, and now I’m mad that I didn’t yell and just shredded him for being untruthful deceiving disingenuous irresponsible and disrespectful. I still feel wronged and I’m having trouble making peace with deciding on being “the bigger person” and wishing I’d been the “fuck you, don’t call me again” person. I’m also angry cause he resented I said I’d be going NC, he was actually hurt I didn’t wanna stay friends and I resent him for that too, he didn’t value me or what we had so why on earth did he think he’d get access to me? Why would he want that?

I’m not breaking NC and I’m not going back. I’m just trying to understand why these things are bothering me so much.